This is a picture of me and my very best friend in the whole, wide world. I love him so much.He's leaving next year to go to a far-away country and fight in a war. I will miss him so much, and I'm scared.
I have so much fear. I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to handle things alone while he's gone. I'm afraid I'll fail my kids.
I'm afraid that we won't know each other when he gets back.
I'm afraid that he will get hurt.
Most of all, I'm afraid that he won't come back at all.
While he's there, I know that there will always be someone trying to kill him. That his life will really, truly be in danger. That thought makes my stomach turn.
How did I get to a point in my life where I am having to imagine that situation? It boggles my mind.
He's going to be home for about 11 more months. I don't want that time to be colored by the fears. But the fears aren't going anywhere.
So I guess I have to accept them, and learn to find joy in spite of them.
And saying that is the easy part...
I know that saying "I'm praying for you" does little to comfort you....I am praying for you, for him, and for the children.
ReplyDeleteHe is my son....and I share many of your feelings, your thoughts...and I keep praying and thinking "I hope this war goes away..." before he has to leave....
I love you...I love you all very much...and though feel alone, you are not...