Running the Race

Hebrews 12:1-2
Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which entangles
us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our
eyes on Jesus.

I came across this verse the other day when I was having a particularly bad "I-Hate-Army-Life" day. Isn't it cool how God puts things in front of our eyes, right when we most need to see them?

Also found these great quotes in my Faith Deployed devotional book:

"Many military wives see themselves as victims of their husband's
career. We need to accept our circumstances from God, trusting that He
unerringly knows what is best for us. We need to move from the attitude of
victim to an attitude of stewardship. We need to ask, 'God, how can I
use my difficult circumstance or disability to serve You and glorify
You?'" Patti Morse

"I am called to be a military wife. God knew I could do it when He
gave me the assignment" Amy Macleod

And heard this in a song at Regenerate Her at church last Friday. (yes, it totally made me cry) :

"I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now.
Breath of Heaven,
hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of Heaven.
Breath of Heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me Your holiness,
For You are holy"

And last! This is from the devotional book they gave out at Regenerate Her. I love the thought of God calling me to be an Army wife. I think because Eric and I got married so young, a lot of people probably think we just stumbled into the military and we are going to go through the pain of deployment as a kind of consequence for making the choice to get married so young. But I am learning that God has called us to this. This is our place. He put us here. We are here for a reason. And so this quote stuck out to me:

"Slowly, the Master Painter, creator of the heavenlies, takes each
pain, tear, scar, and wound, and in His time, and in His way, He makes a
masterpiece".

:)

John Waller - While I'm Waiting (Official Music Video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

Bitter

That's how I'm feeling today. I was looking through some resource websites for military families and came across some "long-distance-dad" books with ideas on how to parent "from a distance".

Or, you know, the other side of the world.

But most of them are written with business travelers or divorced parents in mind. They have suggestions like "buy your child a speaker phone and set it on the dinner table so you can talk with them while they eat, or put it in the bathroom and chat while they get ready for bed". Or, "visit an educational website together and have a virtual field trip, using instant messenger to discuss the websites you visit". And "send one postcard every day for a week from a different place".

Nice, right?

Oh, except my kids dad-as far as I know-is not going to have access to very many phones, computers or souvenir shops. Not to mention the time difference challenges and the fact that he's not likely to be able to sit on the phone for hours at a time when the kids are actually going through those certain daily routines.

And let's not forget the cost of phone communication. :-/

I try very hard to have a good attitude about Eric's service. I try to have a servant's heart myself, and to be willing to go through all of the really hard times that are ahead of us because I know that Eric's job is very important and I love him and want to support everything that he does. It's just hard to keep the bitterness out sometimes.

Sometimes I can't stop myself from asking the question, "how can the military ask families to go through such long separations?". I know it's a pointless question, and that the answer wouldn't change any of the things that I don't like. I know that asking it only makes the bitter feelings harder to resist, but there are times when I just can't help it.

I don't want our family to be apart for a year. I just don't.

So.....that's where I'm at today. Kinda not a great place to be, as far as my attitude goes, but I don't want to be one of "those" wives who pretends to love EVERYTHING about military life ALL. THE. TIME. We all know at least one of "those". And they are annoying.

I don't think God expects me to live this life and never struggle with it. In fact, I think he knows that I am struggling right now, because one of my bestest friends suggested a girls-only overnight getaway to Chena Hot Springs this weekend. Haven't had one of those......ever! Hard to stay too bitter/angry when I know I have that to look forward to in just a few days!

:)