The week was definitely fun for Caleb, who got to go to Bible camp. We had no idea the camp date was even coming up, but Jimmy and Fawn called the camp and found out about a military scholarship AND got Caleb the very last available spot. It was such a neat thing for them to do, and we are so thankful that Caleb was given the opportunity! He had an absolute blast!
So, all-in-all, these two field weeks should have been pretty easy, compared to the other stuff coming up in our near future. And I definitely did manage to enjoy a large portion of the time, since my great friend, Fawn, took me berry picking! We went to a nice little spot she knows and got some wild Alaskan blueberries, which are much more tart and flavorful than any other blueberries I've had. They are SOOOOO delicious, by the way.
Here is a picture. Be jealous......... ;-)
She also took me (and Nate and Sam) to her mom's house to pick raspeberries. Nate really enjoyed the picking, but wouldn't try an actual berry. He's silly that way-doesn't like to try new things.
Actually, he did eventually try some of them. I put the blueberries in pancakes, and the raspberries in jam, and he ate both of those, and really liked them. Silly boy.
Somewhere around this past Thursday night, though, things started to get kind of hard for me. I've been incredibly busy these past few weeks, and three boys are a lot of work all by themselves. Add in keeping the house in order, and I think by Thursday night I was just feeling a little bit burned-out and lonely for my husband. I'm usually fine during the day, but the nighttime gets harder because that is when I'm used to having help with the house-work, the cleaning, getting boys fed, bathed and put to bed, and without anyone to help me or even to talk to, that stuff gets overwhelming at times. The worst is not having him here to hang out with after I finally finish everything. The tv and my dark, quiet house just don't cut it.I think what actually made it really get to me, though, was the knowledge that my life is going to be like that for a year straight, with no husband coming home on the weekends, and there won't be anything I can do about it but just get through it. So I got kind of emotional and stressed out. Ok, really emotional and stressed out...
Poor Eric. By the time he got home on Friday night, I had pretty much let everything get to me to the point that I was just really stressed out, angry and crabby. I was working feverishly to get the house cleaned and I was vacuuming when I saw the front light come on and knew he was home. But I was so mad at my army-wife-life that I didn't even want a hug and I didn't even turn the vacuum off.
I know. That's horrible and mean and awful and so very, very selfish. I know. Believe me, I know. But in the moment, I just couldn't do any better.
But he was understanding and he just walked in and gave me a hug anyway, even though I was still vacuuming- and let me tell you- that was the BEST hug of my life. It just felt so good to have him there for me, to lean on. Such a relief. So I turned the vacuum off, and actually thought to myself, "that hug made all the stress worth it."
We went on to have a really awesome weekend. We spent most of it outside, enjoying the beautiful place we get to live in. And we enjoyed each other's company so much! I think we are starting to learn how to really get the most out of the time that we have together, since we know it is limited. A lot of times, I'll hear people talk about how they wait for the weekends to get various mundane chores done, but that is not our life anymore. We used to do that, but now, I need to make sure all the mundane chores get done while he's gone, so that when he's off, we can spend that time just enjoying each other and making memories to smile at when times get harder.
It's actually kind of cool. I hate the separations. I hate having to run this house by myself. I hate not having my best friend around to hang out with. I hate it and it's hard. And it's only going to get harder. But, if we didn't have to go through those bad times, we wouldn't have these awesome reunions that we get to have. I don't think we would have the same appreciation that we have for just being together. So that is something that I can try to hold on to while he's gone next year. It's going to be like a honeymoon all over again when he gets back! How cool will that be?
We saw this rainbow yesterday. Isn't it pretty?It didn't occur to me until later, but it kind of reminds me of the end of a field problem, or some training or school, or even deployment, which is still in our future. It sucks and it's hard, but when he comes home, it's just beautiful.
Like a rainbow. You have to get through the rain first.
Thinking of you, and understanding every word. I know our situations are quite the same, but being the wife of a football coach is much like yours....although, it's not quite as dangerous as Eric's job nor as stressful for the two of us, we still spend a lot of time apart. I think I see Jeremy for a combined total of maybe 48 hours a week. Even when the season is over the players and the other coaches...it isn't for him. But, he loves it, and who am I to stand in the way? He's good at what he does, and he's a wonderful role model.
ReplyDeleteYou're an awesome wife to Eric, and he is so blessed to have you. If you ever need to talk...vent...anything, I'm here. :) I know that as the days pass, emotions will build and you'll just need to let it out. No one expects you to handle all of this perfectly....I am in awe of how you've been able to handle it so well and with such grace. We keep you guys in our thoughts and prayers constantly, and although we're far away in distance, we keep you all close in our hearts.
We love you guys :)