Dear Deployment,

I see you, hiding over there in Springtime. You're trying to sneak up on me. You want to jump out when I least expect it and scare me so bad I can't focus on anything but how scared I am of you.

Well, I have something to say to you. Give it up. You may have ruled my life these past 2 years. I may have lived in fear of you, and spent most of my time trying to hide from you. Pretending you would go away if I just ignored you or got mad enough.

No more. I have finally acknowledged the fact that you are coming. I have accepted the reality of what that means for my family. And I have acknowledged and accepted all the things that might happen after you get here.

And guess what? I'm not afraid of you anymore. I am claiming victory over the fear, hurt and anxiety that you have brought into my life ever since I found out you were coming, and I will have that victory, because I asked Jesus to give it to me.

That doesn't mean that it will be easy. It doesn't mean I won't miss Eric or worry about him, or cry or get mad. But it does mean that I can have peace, deep-down where it really matters. Peace that no matter what happens, there is ultimately a good ending for all of us. Nothing that can happen during deployment will be the end of me, my family, or my husband. The marriage that we have built, the family that we've made-those can never be taken from me, either.

Raising 3 little boys by myself for a year while my husband is on the ground in a foreign country fighting a war is going to be hard. Not knowing where Eric is or what he's doing or if he's ok is going to be hard. Not being able to talk to him or lean on him for support like a wife should be able to do with her husband is going to be hard. The wife of a deployed soldier is going to be a tough role to play. But I know that my God didn't give me a role that He isn't big enough to sustain me through.

So yeah, Deployment, you're big, dark, scary and ugly. But you're nothing but a boogieman, and in the words of Junior Asparagus,

"God is bigger than the boogieman".