Today was the Spring Kick-Off of Protestant Women of the Chapel! I have been looking forward to it ever since the last time PWOC met, before Christmas. They had a breakfast buffet set up and table for us all to sit at and eat. So we ate and talked, and then we sang some songs. This semester's Bible study leaders got up and gave descriptions of the several different studies that are being offered. And then one of the women got up to speak.
She is the wife of an infantry officer who is in Eric's chain of command, which I think is incredibly cool. There are actually a lot of women who work with Eric who also go to PWOC, and also to our church. We have been very blessed to be surrounded by so many Christians!
Anyway, she gave a talk about being prepared. Many of us in the room are facing deployment very soon, and that can definitely feel like a looming crisis. And even those who are not facing deployment at this time are still facing other challenges as military wives. And the type of preparation she was talking about was knowing how to fully rely on God to get you through, rather than trying to learn how to do that in the midst of the crisis. She shared an analogy that really struck me, which her infantry husband had given her.
The guy who shoots the really big gun on top of the stryker or tank is called the gunner. He carries a belt of ammunition that contains just enough ammunition for him to shoot for 15 seconds. He does not carry enough ammunition by himself to get him through a battle. Only just the very beginning, and then he runs out.
But there is a man who stands beside him, called the "ammo bearer". He has all the ammunition the gunner will need to get him through whatever battle he is fighting, and he feeds it to him as he needs it. If the gunner were to try to fight the battle without his ammo bearer, he would quickly be overwhelmed.
God is our ammo bearer. He is right there beside us, giving us the ammo that we need to get through whatever battles we need to fight. What an awesome picture! What a comfort! So often (more and more often, the closer deployment gets), I have moments of overwhelmed panic at my absolute inability to handle things on my own. The words, "I can't, I can't, I can't" go through my mind over and over and over. I feel two inches tall-completely inadequate for the task. Completely emotionally overwhelmed. But with God beside me, giving me exactly what I need to get through every difficult situation, I can have such amazing comfort, because I know that I don't have to be adequate. I don't have to be able to do it alone. God did not create me to be fully adequate on my own-He made me to need Him. I will never be alone. My Ammo Bearer will be beside me the whole time. "I can't, I can't, I can't...but that's ok."
She said, "God is contstantly bringing us to a place of, 'I can't do this', and that's where he wants us to be...It's so easy to get to the end of what we can do ourselves, but it is impossible to get to the end of what the Holy Spirit can do".
And then she held up a toy army man, and said that there was one at each of our place settings. She said that she was going to put that army man on her key chain, so that whenever she reached for her keys, she would be reminded of her Ammo Bearer, and that she is never, ever alone.
Me, too.
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